IMO, phenos and lithobates in the same tank would be alright, provided that there are adequate males and females of each species.
I think you could mix peacocks with phenos, but would not do so with the lithobates.
Haps and mbuna are generally fine IME, in terms of not crossbreeding. Typically you'd want a calmer mbuna species in this scenario. I wouldn't mix aggressive mbuna (melanochromis sp., etc) with haps.
I've found some good articles online over the years, typically scientific papers, that explore how african cichlids came to be and how they choose mates. Most often it's actually the female choosing the male. When it comes to what is more likely to crossbreed with something else, it's often a matter of similar body shapes or patterns driving the choices the female makes.