I hope that I may have a pair now. I have four gold ocellatus. Three look alike - darker top half, more aggressive, and behavior makes me assume males, and one is different and smaller, hopefully a female.
So I put a divider in my 20 long and rotated the suspect males through the larger compartment with the presumed female. I think a match may be close as the two now together are now doing a lot of 'shimmying'/dancing and less trying to kill each other violently.
Here's a pic:

The other two presumed males are in the other comaprtment alone and seem to be doing OK for now.