Silly question but I can't seem to find the answer anywhere.
Made me chuckle. What would make you think the female doesn't matter and you can just mix-n-match? Peacocks have evolved into a wide variety and if you were to breed males of specific types to any female, you'd just get a muddled mix of indeterminate results. Hybrids are very frowned upon within the hobby. It's easy to lose the genetics of a fish through mixing species and impossible to get them back.
Does anyone know are wild caught female peacock cichlids look alike?
They aren't all alike, but many look very similar and can be hard or almost impossible to tell apart if you mix them.
If so, how do they know which gene/color they are from?
Keeping species in separate tanks, good record keeping, and only buying from trusted sources.
Or does the female not matter and rather it just depends on the male? Thanks for your answers
It most certainly matters. The female is 50% of the reason a certain species of peacock looks as it does.